Litterally Just a Pokemon Clover Fanfic
by KomaspireXTea
Summary: Title speaks for itself, this is my first attempt of a public story so its gonna be shit. M rating becouse OH BOY the stuff in this thing. Cant really assure a fun time
1. Chapter 1: Im not good at titles

_Extremely important PSA: This shit will come of as reeeeally insulting or discriminating, im just going by the game so bare with me, most things are obviously taken form the game itself; i raccoment playing pokemon clover or at least looking up stuff on the wiki so that you can get the most enjoyment out of this story._

 _Without other workds lets yeet into this._

 _ **Ah . . . the Krusty Kra- i mean Veepier town . . . the apex of normie filth in a small shitty town, looking closer in a room we can see the protagonist of our story with the second most outstanding name in this land; that is our beautyful mistres keksa- OH DEAR LORD WHAT IS SHE WATCHING-**_

Keksandra took her shoe off, yeeting it trought the window just to hit that pervert that is the motherfucking narrator; "Joestars . . . wait was the narrator a joestar? meh who gives a shit".

She turned the tv off, freezing the image on kakyoin getting a hole punched trought his chest . . . a tear is shedding down my eye . . . el sniff oh wait are we still doing this- 'aight.

"Jee, this town still sucks a massive dick . . . wait isn't it the 69th of sextember?" Keksandra fell down the stairs, smacking her head on the chair her mother was sitting on.

"JESUS H. CHRIST KEKSANDRA WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING" Keksandra's mother said, helping her daughter up: "Nothing mom, i just wanted to know if it was my birthday yet" Keksandra affirmed, having a blank emotionless :/ face

"Yes keksandra, it is the 420th of Hentaiober" Keksandra's mother said, letting out a pretty heavy sigh, as Keksandra tilted her head: "Mom, its the 69th of sextember today", Keksandra's mother froze in place, springing up from the completly devastated chair: "OF COURSE IT IS . . . I WAS JUST PLAYING WITH YOU . . . a h a h".

Keksandra nodded; "Aight, imma go play with professor stump's sex dolls until he gives me a pokemon, cya!", The poor mother couldn't say anything before keksandra headbutted a hole trought the wall.

She tilted in the lab's general direction, springing her feet strongly . . . the poor people in her way were dead before they knew it.

She bursted trought the wall, spouting in a singing verse; "Lick on these nuts and suck the diiick", only one person was there to greet her, and that was DICKBALL.

DICKBALL, who gave himself the actual name of "Legend", is a poor kid who grew up being called DICKBALL by his parents becouse of his overwealming edge ever since he was a baby, today it was his birthday too . . . in fact he was born at least 420 seconds before Keksandra.

"Can you shut up for a fucking second, you aren't pink guy!" Legend screeched at Keksandra, who didn't give less of a fuck of whatever DICKBALL said to her; "Listen up DICKBALL, where are stump's sex dolls?".

"Oh he took them off with him, i think he's gonna try and breed with a cheezetta" Legend said, tilting his fedora while making a 'yare yare' sound, meanwhile Keksandra made a disgusting face as she realized once again that stump was a fucking pedophile.

"Welp imma go get eaten my squirraps until your sister saves me, Cya!" Keksandra waved at Legend, who of course didn't give less of a fuck.

She normally walked up to the tall grass, staring down at it: for years she was told that stepping in tall grass is an extremely vile act when someone has no pokemon with them, like ordering pistacchio ice cream without getting chocolate, like drinking from the milk carton, like mastrubating over Filthy Frank.

Keksandra, having done all of the subsiquent things, was confident in herself enought to step into the tall ass grass without an animal.

She dug her foot in the grass . . . it felt fresh . . . until she got smacked in the face by a wooden leg . . . she recognize that leg . . . it was professor Stump !

"KEKSANDRA, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT POKEMON AREN'T GONNA JUST EAT YOU." Stump said, angrily stomping his leg in Keksandra's face; "PROFESSOR I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU, PLEASE SPARE MY LIFE" Keksandra screamed, flailing arround until she hit Stump in the jaw with her gameboy . . . why did she have a gameboy with her tho?

"OW- YOU FUCKING WHORE, YOU'RE LUCKY ITS THE 69TH TODAY OR I WOULD HAVE TROWN YOU INTO THE POKEMON DAYCARE" Stump angrily dragged Keksandra in the lab, during the whole exchange she had a o3o face.

Legend turned arround, looking at Stump and Keksandra walking in the room, Stump trew Keksandra into a bookshelf, as he put three pokeballs on the table: "Aight fuckers, y'all know that people at the ripe old age of 14 go out for a pokemon adventure and up getting lost, raped or both: so i want you to start your OWN pokemon journey!" Stump said, as Keksandra yeeted out of the bookshelf, she couldn't wait to get her first pokemon.

Stump spoke up with his heavy voice; "Keksandra, since you're the youngest i'll let you pick first." Legend tipped his fedoraoraora, as Keksandra took her gameboy out to save the game.

Wrote State One

Keksandra picked up one of the three pokeballs, trowing it in DICKBALL's face, a small grey creature came out of the pokeball and landed in Keksandra's arms; " . . . My son . . . " Keksandra just stared in the small creature, just to notice that it had a small plant growing out of its asshole.

"Uhm . . . professor are you sure that you didn't give me one with a fucking asshole eating parasyte?" Keksandra questioned, being concerned of her new companion, Stump chuckled and negated; "Nah, that's a grasshole, the plant is part of its body" Keksandra took the information in, questioning what evolution process would cause such a thing, in the meantime Legend took a different pokeball off the table, marked with a bomb.

"Well, have fun with your walking bodypillows!" Stump sat on the table, while lighting a joint.

Keksandra started to slide in the door's general direction, until DICKBALL pointed his pokeball to her; "Y'aint going anywhere without a fight, i'll prove im stronger than you and that im wort soemthing in this life".

Legend trew his pokeball out, revealing a small Arabomb . . . Keksandra just yote his Grasshole in the field, clueless on what to fucking do.

"Arabomb, Tackle !" As Legend screamed out, his Arabomb headbutted the poor Grasshole, sending him flying to the wall; "DICKBALL CALM DOWN" Keksandra screamed, as she kicked Arabomb in the back of the head.

"KEKSANDRA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING" screamed Stump, running over Keksandra to hold her back; "HE TRIED TO HURT MY SON, I SHALL PUNISH THE MOTHERFUCKER", Keksandra kept on stomping the innocent creature.

". . . Well, i guess that Keksandra won the battle." Stump said, as he stole money from DICKBALL's wallet and gave it to Keksandra; "SHE FUCKING CURVESTOMPED MY ARABOMB, HOW IS THAT ALLOWED" Legend screamed, as he got slapped by Keksandra right in the face.

"Welp, now scatter" Stump said, pushing the two kids out of the lab and locking himself in the lab.

"Tsk, imma go talk to my sister" Legend walked off to his home, while Keksandra quantum hopped trought the city, just to end in front of her mother, holding her Grasshole.

"Mom, this is my son, i now love his more than i love you" Keksandra affirmed, as her mother hid a box under the table; "Keksandra, did you at least give him a name?" the mother cut her off, confused; "Uuh . . . i'll call it Constapate".

"Oh that's . . . cute" Keksandra's mom couldn't finish the sentence before her daughter fucked out of the door, she sighed, looking in the box and smiling.

Meanwhile our hero was standing over the entrance of route 1, her adventure was just beginning.


	2. Chapter 2: The first catch of 'em all

Keksandra standed over the grass, looking dead at those useless npc's . . . she took a step in the grass, as a fucking normie walked out of nowhere and ran in front of her: "Oh, hey there!" the stranger waved, as Keksandra started to gag in disgust.

The stranger kept on talking, ignoring the fact that Keksandra started to barf over his shoes: "Im Viol! i came from a faaaaaaaaar away region, after hearing how much OU material is here i just yote on the boat, ah ah!" Viol said with his boring ass voice.

"UUh . . . are you ok?" Viol questioned, only now noticing that Keksandra had just fucking vomited a semdrop out; "I'd be better if you fucking smogoon stopped to look in my general direction, im allergic to you bastards." She said in a straightforward way, glaring at Viol's boring ass.

". . . Nah, you'll instead have to defeat my 31 special attack ivs and 20 defence ivs EJACASM !" Viol tossed out a pokeball, as a small condom shaped creature came out . . . useless to say that Keksandra didn't know what she should have done in that situation . . until she remembered a small type chart her mother used to have in her purse.

"I got it!" She said, trowing her son in the field.

"Ok . . . this is bad" Viol said, stepping back; "Who cares i'll do this anyways, use tackle !" Ejacasm headbutted the poor Constapate, dealing small damage due to the low attack; "YOU TRIED TO HURT MY SON ? TASTE THIS WHINE WIP" Keksandra screamed, as her small pokemon hit the Ejacasm over the head with his plant-tail-asshole eating thing, knocking ejacasm out in one hit.

"WOOH HOO, I WON MY FIRST FIGHT BITCH" Keksandra yelled, jumping arround as Viol stood in place, k.

"SPEAK UP BITCH AND GIVE M Y" Keksandra kept on yelling, until she kicked Viol in the nuts, stealing his wallet and running off.

She tripped over a small pokemon while running trought the grass, as she looked back, she noticed that it wasn't a mainland pokemon . . . so she fucking yote it away with a kick that had a force of a million suns, making it land back in the pond near the grass.

She then got back up and started to run to the city next up, headbutting the door trought the pokemon market.

"Oh, you must be from Veepier town! could you please deliver this parce-" the shopkeeper couldn't finish talking, before Keksandra trew Viol's money in his face, stealing pokeballs & potions from him.

". . . u h" she said, looking at the parcel; "what's inside this?" she then asked, tapping the shopkeeper.

"That's professor Stump's new type of pokedex, he ordered them fresh off amazon" the shopkeeper said, putting the money in the cash register.

Keksandra yote out, dash-dancing back trought Route 1, encountering the wild water pokemon again . . . only this time, she was prepared to catch it.

She trew her Constapate in the field, yelling out; "TACKLE", Constapate complied, almost knocking down the shrimp like pokemon who, flailing arround, countered with a strong karate chop.

Constapate held his ground, as Keksandra trew her pokeball at the wild mad lad.

She swiftly took out her gameboy, tapping some bottons arround.

 ** _Wrote State 1_**

The pokeball shook once, twice . . . trice . . .

 ** _The Karawn got caught._**

Keksandra lifted the pokeball, stapling a name on it.

"RedLobsterCookies, a perfect name!" she said, lifting the pokeball to the sky.

She then fucking rammed across the Route, ending up smacking a hole trought the professor's lab.

"KEKSANDRA FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU STOP" Stump yelled, as he punched her back out with the force of a milion MUDA's, she then came out of the door like nothing happened . . . of course she punched DICKBALL who was standing there . . . MENACINGLY.

"So y'all wanna fill these pokedexes? no? fuck cares" Stump said, trowing the mechanical enciclopedias at the two dickheads.

"Aight have fun" he then said, while taking a bottle of vodka out and bingedrinking.

". . . Keksandra, i will make sure i complete the pokedex before you, I WILL SHOW ONCE FOR ALL THAT IM WORTH SOMETHI-" Legend was interrupted by Keksandra's RedLobsterBiscuit, who karate chopped him in the face.

Keksandra then leaped ut of the lab, creating a hole in the roof.

She landed at the opening of Route 2, ready to go even deeper in the region.


	3. Chapter 3: I dont know anymore

Step by step, nice and easy . . . Keksandra walked slowly trought the tall grass, trying not to step on hte wild pokemon, god forgive if she did, who wants to battle useless wild pokemon- aaaaand she stepped on one.

"POLISH MY FUCKING BALLSACK-" she screamed, before getting sudden gag reflexes . . . she then fell on her ass and looked at the wild pokemon.

It was a weird small creature with wings sprouting from the sides of its head, after a closer look Keksandra noticed that the small pokemon was wearing a medical mask of some sort, confused by the pokemon's appearence, she wipped out her pokedex and analyzed it.

'Nauseon, The sick pokemon; If someone touches Nauseon's skin, they will become sick. It roams cities at night, spreading disease." after realizing what had happened, she got up; " well that explains most of it, might as well catch this fucker " she said, trowing her shrimp pokemon at it . . . the shrimp ricoshetted off, hitting a tree.

"For fuck's sake . . . welp, KOBE" she screamed, trowing a pokeball at the Nauseon.

 ** _Wrote state 1_**

Shake one, two . . . three . . . the Nauseon came out at the last possible mome-

 ** _Loaded state 1_**

Shake one, two . . . three . . . Nauseon got caught.

"Works everytime" she said, picking the pokeball up, she then scrolled trought the nickname menù; ". . . What should i call him"

She went the easy road and called it 'WRYYYYYYYYY', since she didn't have any other ideas on what to call something like that.

Afterwards she noticed how low levelled her team was.

She started to think . . . and think . . . but god forbid she was to stupid to realize that grinding was a thing.

She rushed to the pokemon center's pc, logging in on 4chan . . . who in their right mind would go to 4chan of all places to look for help, goes to show that Keksandra's intelligence is comparable to gordon ramsey's kindness on social media.

She started a thread, asking how the fuck she could level up pokemon without wasting too much time, she then proceeded to autoclick the refresh button, waiting for a response on her thread.

A comment appeared: "Implying that you dont know what grinding is, yeet your pokemon in the tall grass and beat up wild pokemon 'till your dudes level up, have fun".

Cynicism aside Keksandra realize what she had to do, so she yeeted in the tall grass and started to slay every single life form that came under her eye.

 **-INSERT TIMESKIP HERE-**

She yawned, looking at her improved team.

Each one of her pokemon was level 9, eccept her son who was level 11, the tought that she was overleveled didn't cross her mind at all, so she skyrocketed trought route 2, ending up inside vitlya woods.

Walking trought the forest, she was stopped by a random bug catcher . . . she didn't esitate to punch the stranger in the face.

she kept on punching the trainers trying to fight her, until she got to the end of the forest where she saw none other than DICKBALL.

"Oi DICKBALL" she waved, catching the edgelord's attention; "What the fuck do you want Keksandra, im too buisy painting a tree red." he said, dropping a paint bucket on Keksandra's foot . . . she didn't even flinch.

"But since you're here, how about we have a small runback." He said, readying his pokeball: "Sure thing, DICKBALL" she said, getting her pokeball ready.

Both of the trainers trew out their pokemon, while Keksandra trew out her RedlobsterBiscuit in the field, Dickball trew out a Nauseon.

"Allright, Aqua jet!" she ordered her shrimp, which dashed with blinking speeds towards the Nauseon, before smacking it with the force of multiple waves.

The Nauseon resisted, stuttering back on his feet: "Mhf, not bad, but taste this: ACID!" Legend screamed, as his Nauseon removed his mask swiftly, spitting acid towards his opponent.

RedlobsterBiscuit fell to the ground, having been poisoned almost instantly from the attack, right after Keksandra noticed . . . it was late.

 _RedlobsterBiscuit fainted._

Keksandra stomped her foot in anger, as DICKBALL taunted her: "Eh eh, not so strong without your kicks are you ?" he said, grinning.

Keksandra retreived RedlobsterBiscuit in his pokeball, as she sent out WRYYYYYYYYY, she didn't care if it was a ditto tho.

"allright, ACID" Both of the young trainers screamed, luckily for Keksandra her WRYYYYYYYYY moved first, knocking out the enemy in a single move.

"Goddamit . . . guess that its time for my ace, go Arabomb !" Legend yelled, trowing out his starter.

"Mhf, WRYYYYYYYYY use acid!", Nauseon spat a puddle of acid at Arabomb, even if it didn't do alot of damaged it managed to get a poison off: "Ok, ARABOMB, EMBER!" DICKBALL yelled, knocking out WRYYYYYYYYY in a single swoop.

"GAH- the balls on this fucker" Keksandra said, retriving WRYYYYYYYYY back in his pokeball and trowing out her own ace in the hole; Constapate.

"Psfht, you already lost Keksandra." DICKBALL said, as he trew a potion at his Arabomb, but as he did . . . "TACKLE!" Keksandra yelled, as Constapate headbutted Arabomb to the tree.

 _ **CRITICAL HIT!**_

Arabomb fainted in one hit.

"Wa-", That's the only thing that Legend could say, before Keksandra kicked him in the balls, making him flail to the ground.

Keksandra proceeded to steal his money, walking out of the gate.

She found herself in the next town; Gadech city.

looking up to the pokemon gym, even tought she didn't know what it was, she was determinated to steamroll it . . . if she had to, of course.


End file.
